[as I walk past a checkout, a cashier asks me "Are you ready?" I say no and walk down an aisle, 2yo ~15ft behind me] "You're not ready! You're dad! Your name is Robert. She asked if you were Ready!"
Getting an Apple TV! I finally earned enough credit card rewards points to get one. (Not that I spent money with the sole intent of earning worthless points. That's a terrible idea kids.)
QotD (on the CVS-Aetna merger): "All health insurance will eventually be Taco Bell."